when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
