Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
