drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
