No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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