he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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