brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
