So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
