I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
