just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
ttyl tear gas
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
