Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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