Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I'm bleeding and have questions
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
