I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
