This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
