i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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