Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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