woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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