It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
