Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
meet me or not, i'm out of control
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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