is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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