Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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