White coat. Heels.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
