Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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