dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
We're too hungover to prance.
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