I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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