My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
