Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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