So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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