If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
you had me at cake vodka
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
