What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
