in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
