You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
