can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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