Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
