your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
