ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
