3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
