A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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