one might say we're banned from that church
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
