Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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