Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
