is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
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