i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
