id be glad to
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize
