...so i touched it.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
