the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
