Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
