OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
How's work?
Spinning.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
