and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
