when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
