I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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