guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
