I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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