you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
